One word- Friendsgiving. Have you heard of it? You may not know the official term, but it’s something we military spouses have been doing for as long as there’s been people serving our country.

The concept is simple-to open your home to guests and celebrate Thanksgiving among the friends you’ve made, who have practically become family. We have all been there. The house smells of autumn apples, the table is decorated with a cornucopia of pumpkins and squash. But there’s a sad reality looming over our heads, and that is our loved one is away during the holiday.

Some of us fly home to be with family, to mask the hurt in our hearts, but some of us, for a multitude of reasons, be it the ridiculous cost of airfare, or just the stress of flying with kiddos (can I get an Amen?), we decide to stay put and “make it through the holidays” alone. That is all well and good, but it can be lonely if not executed correctly.

Friendsgiving is an opportunity to connect with others going through the same situation as you. I remember one year, back around 2008, a good friend and I, both newly married and away from home for Thanksgiving, decided to cook an entire meal….turkey, dressing and all the fixin’s for our hubbies. We took out all the stops and attempted…I’ll say that again….attempted to recreate the famous family recipes we so loved from back home.

We shared laughs, drank wine, played games…did I mention the wine? That was years ago and looking back, it was one of the most special “Friendsgivings” I’ve ever had. You see, it’s the memories we make with our “sisterhood” that binds us together. It’s the people we invite into our home that makes going through holidays bearable and more enjoyable.

If you will be celebrating Thanksgiving sans family this year, consider hosting a Friendsgiving of your own. It’s really very simple and will help combat your lonliness.

Here are 10 Ways to combat loneliness by hosting Friendsgiving!

1. Choose a Co-Host

First thing’s first. Choose a co-host. This co-pilot is your go-to gal and helps you share the burden. Just because you’re “hosting” doesn’t mean you have to let all of the responsibility lie on you. If you usually take on the world by hosting with no help, my hat’s off to you, because you’ve been doing this all wrong! As host, you’re going to stress yourself out trying to DIAY (do it ALL yourself). Instead, DIWF (do it with friends)! If you’re hosting Friendsgiving this year, don’t fret. Friendsgiving is not like Thanksgiving. Unlike a traditional Thanksgiving, where the host is expected to have the turkey done and sides in order, you…the host…make the rules. You can do whatever you want because Friendsgiving is about being with your friends and building on those special relationships.

2. Invite 1 friend…or 10…doesn’t matter

Who is spending Thanksgiving solo this year? They better be on your list. Whether it’s 1 friend or 10 friends you invite over, just make sure someone is there to converse with. Do they have kids? It’s instant playtime and distraction for your kids. Are you new to the area and don’t know anyone yet? Still okay to reach out and find one other person…perhaps a neighbor.

3. Make it a potluck style Friendsgiving

This goes along with #1 and sharing the burden. Plus, potlucks are fun. Make it interesting by asking everyone to bring only pumpkin flavored recipes or asking friends to bring a dish to showcase their heritage. Let your friends know that you’d like to see their culinary delights (aka- you are too busy to cook everything yourself).

4. Guests should arrive with their meals already made…unless….you want to host a “pre-Friendsgiving party”

If you want guests to arrive on time with their meals already made and ready to serve, make that known. We all don’t have time to be waiting on that one friend who wants to cook it in your oven, making dirty dishes everywhere.

This is unless you want to have a few friends over before the party to cook with you, which can also be fun. Heck, it’s all about creating memories and having a good time, right? DIWF (do it with friends). Bring on the wine!

This leads me to #5.

5. Attempt a new recipe

If this is all about making new memories and traditions, it’s okay to try a new recipe out. The good ol’ family recipes may be great, but don’t fear the unknown. Maybe try a thanksgiving turkey pizza!

6. Think outside the pie-box on desserts

A traditional Thanksgiving can be a little redundant with the same pies: pumpkin, pecan, apple. Why not take a walk on the culinary wild side and think outside the box. In fact, you can make that your theme for the event, “Outside the Box”. Instead of an apple pie, bring fresh apple fritters. Or you can even have a signature dessert. Here’s one to consider: Apple Cider Floats (courtesy of Rachel Ray).

7. Include ice breakers, games and conversation starters

These are your friends so you know them best…or do you? Play Two Truths and a Lie or Cards Against Humanity. Mix things up by including some fun games and ice breakers. You can always learn something new about your friends anyway. If anything else, take a moment to toast. Get the good champagne and have each person talk about the dish they brought, what they’re thankful for or who they’re thankful for. Make sure to have tissues on hand. Drinks and sob stories tend to get the water works going.

Here are some fun Ice Breakers!

*Note the Sentence Starter Game including ones like:
I have never…
I am thankful for…
What makes me laugh is…
The most important decision of my life was…
The superhero I’d like to be is…

8. Encourage tupperware

Chances are, as host, you’re going to have tons of food left over from your gathering. Unless you want to be eating all the food for every meal for the next couple weeks, tell your friends to bring along some tupperware. This solves two problems: #1: you won’t have to use your own tupperware, risking having them lost or not brought back and #2: you get food out the door and feeding your friends.

9. Snap some pictures

Document every moment….the good, the bad, and the ugly. In all of your fun and laughing with friends, just remember to stop and commemorate the occasion with some pictures. You won’t want to forget the fun you had.

And finally…

10. Scrap all the plans

Or…you can live on the edge and scrap ALL the plans. Forget the traditional sit-down meal. Forget the stress and mess and create a new way to celebrate Friendsgiving. It could be a chill movie night with pizza, a day out with friends to a restaurant and leave the cooking and cleaning to them (can I get an AMEN?). Or perhaps it’s a shopping trip. Grab the credit cards.

Well there you have it. Just remember, you make the rules. Don’t let loneliness and blues take over this holiday season. What are your plans for Thanksgiving? Will you be hosting Friendsgiving this year? Include your favorite memories in the comments below.

Happy Feasting!

XOXO,

Sonia at Spouse Connexion